Sunday, February 21, 2010

I am so super duper stressed about this upcoming deployment. I feel like a weeny because I know so many woman go through this, but I guess we've been spoiled since he hasn't been deployed in 5 years and I've never had to do it with kids. Things seems so different now. My cup is overflowing and I cry at the drop of a hat. The other day I told off my bank, balled cried on the phone and hung up on the poor woman! TWICE! Don't mess with me right now. Here are my thoughts:

1. What if something happens to my wonderful husband? I will die. DIE! Tre will die!
2. What if this house doesn't sell? Should I still move to Lafayette and pay a mortgage and rent?
3. Jack won't let me NOT move to Lafayette, so then I stress about having to paying a mortgage and rent.
4. How will my sweet Tre handle all of this. I told him we're moving and he keeps saying he doesn't want to and he doesn't want anyone else staying in this house. He handled Top Gun terribly, so I know this will be worse.
5. I am going to be so tired being a mother to a 4 and 2 year old all by myself. No breaks. No sleep in days. I will be near family, but asking one of them to watch the kids while I take a trip to the mall or grocery store alone isn't the same or as guilt free as when Jack is home watching them.
6. What if something happens to my wonderful husband? Oh wait! Did I say that already?
7. Will we have a job when he gets home and we're out of the Navy or will we be unemployed?
8. I'm going to have to potty train by myself. (I know that's small and will work itself out, but I am worrying about small stuff too!!! I can't help myself!!!!)
9. How long should we sign a lease for in the apartment. Will they not promote him and send him home in January or will they extend him even though the law says they can't. If we rent for a year we get one months rent free.
10. We have soooooo much to do with the house to get it ready to go on the market. How will we EVER get it all done. I keep looking around and seeing more and more things and it's STRESSING ME OUT!!!

The list goes on and on. I can't handle much more.

4 comments:

  1. Sarah, I can't imagine the overwhelming feeling and the helplessness. I can tell you not to stress out with the little details, but I know I would be doing the exact same thing. But please, please make sure you spend as much time with your hubby before he leaves instead of constantly running the what-if's through your mind. What will happen will happen, but you won't ever get these few months before he leaves back so treasure them and be there for each other. You have so many friends and family behind you and although I might not be able to give you a guilt free shopping trip by watching the boys for you, I am here for you to call if you ever need to vent about the Navy or need a friend to talk to. Don't be afraid to ask for help and a "fix the house" party might be a great way to get things done before Jack leaves. I'm sure friends in your area would love to help out getting the house in order for payment in pizza and beer :) I wish I was closer to help you out, but please call if you ever need anything.

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  2. You are totally right Christene. I hate to sound like such a whiny baby especially to someone like you whose hubby has deployed twice in the last year. My parents are coming this weekend to help with projects and a few guys at the squadron have volunteered to help as well and we have people that are going to watch the kids so we can get it all done, so that makes me feel a little better. The skipper has given Jack 8 weeks of "basket leave" before he leaves, so I am very thankful for that. I need to look more at the positives, but I have moments that I can't see any!! I know it'll get better!

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  3. Don't feel guilty. I think all your feelings are completely normal. Whether you know about and can prepare for a deployment or not! Don't beat yourself up!

    If it helps at all, you have been my inspiration as we started fleet life. I know you are going to handle this whole thing as the quintessential Navy wife!

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  4. Thanks Tiffany! You're the sweetest!

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